The Automatics

In this country, and pretty much everywhere else we're involved (I challenge you to find a place we're not), there are a lot of good things and a boat load of bad. Since I'm pretty tapped out on the good right now, let's go with the bad. At least for the moment. It has long been a policy of this government that whenever we either didn't understand something, or thought something was wrong in some way, we jammed our big fat butts into it.

And we didn't , and will never, have the common decency to keep our pants on. We've always gotta go around mooning people. Or better yet, like George Carlin said, it's all a penis contest. We've gotta prove that ours is bigger. And for Bush, that's hard (pun intended)...he hasn't got one. That's why he's outing federal agents (I'm not letting that fiasco die), picking fights with everyone in the middle east, and tapping our phones. He's gotta distract us, so no one looks down there.

It's a continuing mystery to me how damned, bloody stupid so much of this country is. It's not that they're "not aware," or they "don't know," it's that they really are that stupid! The portion of them that voted for him anyway. They saw how he screwed up the first time, and they told him to DO IT AGAIN! You know what happens to kids who keep screwing up? Detention, suspension, or a time out.

So why the hell is Bush any different? He's a middle aged degenerate with a pre-school education. It's time for his suspension. Only in the legal field we call that an impeachment. Clinton was brought on charges not entirely unrelated to having a woman blow him under his desk. Bush: outed a federal agent, started a false war, and spied on his own citizenry. Oral sex in the oval office vs TREASON. What seems worse to you?

There's nothing that makes sense about him, well...other than he's a waste of humanity... and there's not much that makes sense about another well meaning issue. Greenery, or more commonly known, the Green movement.

It is a noble and truly honorable thing to completely remodel a home with environmentally sound products. To use products and materials that have been modified or recycled from other materials. But while I want to make one thing COMPLETELY CLEAR, that I SUPPORT this movement, there is another hopefully obvious fluke to EVERYONE.

The MAJOR fundamental flaw in this movement is that everything on this planet, came from the planet. We didn't adapt some alien technology, unless Area 51 is no longer a cover up. All the wood, bamboo, and recycled...what ever had to come from somewhere. I have seen picnic tables made of recycled milk jugs. And while, admittedly, that is pretty cool...think about that. Milk jugs. Items that if left out, your great grand children's great grand children will see.

We have done so much damage, and utter destruction to this planet, do any of us REALLY think we can do any kind of significant improvement over the next few years? Waters have risen, entire continents are breaking apart, and rivers have actually BURNED. Water has caught on FIRE. The very thing that is supposed to kill an inferno, has ignited.

The remedy is not a 2 year process. It's not even a 3 year process. And more importantly, we're ONE nation. ONE. Assuming you can get this country behind you, fat chance, we're a bunch of lazy morons...we all need to adjust, NOW. Every person has a voice, and everyone has right to voice their opinions.

One person can change a lot of minds. Sometimes millions of minds, but those millions won't always be listened to. Millions of people won't save this planet, billions will. 2 million people can march on congress and scream for environmental reform, but if 100 people (let's focus on the Senate for now) shoot them down, the march failed.

You can have all the momentum in the world, and be the savior of the planet, and all it takes is for a group of people who number FAR less than you do, to end your gusto. I'm not saying it's worthless, because like I said earlier..I SUPPORT the Green Movement...I'm saying that before you undergo such an endeavor, plan better.

Take into account that you'll probably be shot down, and fight it. Keep fighting it. Or get inside congress, LEGALLY. Get a congressman to listen to you.

A month or so ago, I was eating at Sonny's in Minneapolis with my: brother, sister (in-law), and my niece and nephew. My brother asked me to get water for everyone and added that they wanted glasses not plastic cups. THEY want glasses. Not ME, THEY did. I went to the self filling water station and filled up plastic cups, as I did not see glasses.

I brought the cups back to the table, and suffice it to say, was ripped a new one. I made clear that I did not see the glasses, and honestly, did not see the harm in me getting a plastic cup. My brother had remedied their situation and gotten glasses for them.

The issue was this: what if the person behind me (which there was none) had seen me getting a plastic cup and decided to get one of their own, bypassing a glass. First, a plastic cup is not a desired item. No one has ever said "god, do I need a plastic cup right now." Second: most people don't look at a water station and make ANY kind of decision. They've already decided they want water. Decision DONE!

If someone does want a glass, more often then not, they'll look for one. They won't ask. I work in retail, most people don't ask for things. They just look. Unless they've got something specific in mind. In cafes, in my experience, people are too shy to ask.

Third: decisions to dump something down your throat usually aren't resolved by, "jeez, look what they guy did. I think I'll do that." People just don't copy strangers. Especially not me. I'm not that important to the world, at least not in that way. If I saw a perfect stranger getting a cup of water, I am DEFINITELY NOT thinking "maybe I'll get a plastic cup." If I'm thinking at all, it's "good god I'm thirsty."

Fourth, and hopefully finally, green-ifying your home and family shouldn’t be a physics problem. If you want to buy something in a store that is environmentally sound: look at the product and investigate what it’s made of. And leave it AT THAT. Trying to dissect whether the wood was a tree eight months ago, or sitting in a ware house recycling plant, only lengthens your journey.

Isn’t the objective to use REAL organic, wood? What the hell’s more organic than a tree? All the recycled wood, had to come from somewhere. Let’s stop and think about that. The recycled wood you have now, came from the exact same place, your neighbor’s new table came from.

Pick your battles people. And while I’m on the inane and stupid: when did corn become evil to or diets??! I know it’s not the corn itself, it’s how it’s processed. But think about it. It’s CORN for christ’s sake! DON’T EAT the processed stuff. You all have brains, USE THEM!

I know it hurts, and maybe be out of your way, but let’s work together and give it a try. These corn nuts are the same people who’ve tried to tell us chocolate can be good for us. BULL!

“Chocolate’s sugar and it’s bad,” one minute, “wait! No it’s not. It can be good.” Come on! A luxury that rots our teeth and mouth, and has ZERO nutritional value, is good. Hell no!

Environmentalists, and Green Movement-ers, do NOTHING for themselves or their cause by using scare tactics or picking little issues.

Scare tactics even include the world of art. Sure a painting or photograph of millions of used plastic shopping bags, designed into Warhol’s Marilyn Monroe is pretty damn cool…but what does that do for your movement? “This is what three million plastic bags look like.” Well isn’t that nice. Now tell us how to avoid them.

I know you hope people will pick up on your message, but being honest here, the amount of the population that would catch that is so small it’s not enough to dent the view of the slower populace. People are not going to automatically listen to one person they’ve never met, because he picks up a cup or puts a picture in a gallery.

The issue is the damage we've already done, not little nit picky things. Plus, how do you know the person who got the cup isn't going to recycle it? I did! It's a change..holder now.

There are good and bad sides to this movement and these issues. There are people who support it, the people I agree with, and people who don't. Neither party can afford at any time, to ignore or tune out the other. You can't arrive at a healthy and safe result by doing ONLY what YOU feel is right. That is DANGEROUS, and unsafe for everyone. Smart conclusions are arrived at by a consultation from BOTH points of view.

It is furthermore, arrogant, and obnoxious to assume that everyone MUST feel as you do. You need to talk to them, calmly, and rationally. People will change their own minds. You can't force them to. And finally, if you want this movement to TRULY catch on, you need to speak to them on their level. This means conversing with them, letting them speak their minds BEFORE you attempt to convince them of your view. This is not a wishy washy issue. It's black and white. People's views are automatic one direction or the other.