There are few things an life greater than having kids, and [much like my previous "blog"] I say "having kids" in a secondary sense, because Jason is my nephew, they change your life in profound ways. They make EVERYTHING mean more, and every feeling hold more weight. In some cases, they make things hurt more.
Now I mean this is no offense to anyone, particularly "my guy," Jason, but while kids do bring you to unbelievable highs of joy, they also can bring you to unimaginable heart crushing lows. You can feel so much joy one moment, and feel utterly useless, and hopeless the next.
You can be the greatest person on the planet, but when a child is crying and there's nothing you can do to help, you're meaningless. You can't do a damn thing to help, everything that occurs to you is immediately written off as the wrong thing, and you run circles in your head trying to think of anything to make you feel more than a waste of space.
It is indescribably paralyzing to sit and watch a child cry, and want with every fiber inside you to help...to want to do ANYTHING! Any damn thing to help, and not have the foggiest clue how to. The child can't tell you what's wrong, so you have to guess. GREAT! Now someone I love's become a game show! "Let's see Chuck, he's crying and spitting up a little, sooooo...either he's hungry or his tummy hurts. Ooooo! That's a tough one. What door's the million bucks behind?"
It is so frustrating, you just wanna: ball your fists, grit your teeth, and find a wall [preferably non load bearing] and put your fist through it. You want to help, but you have no idea what the problem is, no concept of any way to help, and that knowledge doesn't help at all! You can't say, "well I don't know what I can do," and throw your hands up. It's not an "ehh, what can you do?" situation.
It's an anger and frustration, that will not go away, and will not be quieted. You can't stop the frustration because the feeling to help and ease the child's pain [other wise known as love], is MUCH stronger. So the frustration just snowballs, and eventually becomes an avalanche. While this is going on the one nagging thought in your mind is: "I have never felt so pointless and inadiquate in my life."
Of course, in all honesty, I'd much rather go through this, than not have Jason at all. There comes a time in your life, when you realize, any pain is worth the love you feel for them.
I Love you Jason!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Imus
There are things in life that go deeper than just one issue. Take Imus, or Chris Simon, for example. Sure they have a history of, well, shooting their mouths off when they're not supposed to. I'm not defending, and I'm sure as hell not supporting, their actions in any way. But you have to wonder if they really learned anything at all.
I'm not talking just about what Imus called the Rutger's women's basketball team [who, by the way, are immensely talented athletes], or what Chris Simon did to Ryan Hollweg, I'm talking about rules and respect. Every place has them, and every place has a reason for them.
They're not novelty acts or moves of contrition from some earlier sin, they're to be taken seriously and obeyed. The government doesn't say "maybe you shouldn't have shot that guy, it seems to have hurt," and you shouldn't need to be told: not to racially slur ANYONE, or damn near behead them on the ice.
The other big issue in both these cases, is a complete disregard of common sense. How many years do you have to be "in the business," to learn what the rules are, not to break them, and what precisely will happen if you do?!
It seems to me that both Imus, and Simon: damn well knew the rules, knew what would happen if they either broke them or challenged them, and simply decided not to give a damn. This is evident because both men have broken the rules before, and showed little, if any, remorse.
Hey, guys! You got what's comming to ya. Don't be surprised, don't bull shit me like you didn't see it, and don't pretend like any of this is really sinking in. You haven't learned your lessons before, however many hundred times it was, you haven't learned it now. And not a single person believes you have. If you're willing to throw away a career you obviously worship, how can anyone believe you ever truly cared in the first place?
Imus: you were in radio for God's sake! Didn't it ever occur to you, that the reason you're on the air is because people listen?! You're there to entertain THEM! Not yourself. If you want to do that, sit at home with the shades drawn.
Further more, you had to believe in this great country of ours, that not everyone thinks like you. Not everyone's gonna like you, some people might not even be able to stand you, and above all else, EVERYONE is equal!
Don't think, for a second, that MSNBC and CBS did the wrong thing. They are the smart ones in this case. I applaud both networks for their decision, but I give a rousing ovation to CBS. Not only did your comments regarding MSNBC's firing, show an abscence of morals, but it showed that you weren't affraid. You continued not to take anything seriously, and failed to notice the value of what was about to happen.
Everyone knows your sphere of influence exists because CBS controls it. CBS, took down the giant. They hit you where it mattered. I hope THAT truly makes you feel something.
As for Chris Simon: read my "Hockey Blog."
In summation: if you ever wonder why you're constantly in trouble....to quote Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar," "Stop breakin the law ass hole!"
I'm not talking just about what Imus called the Rutger's women's basketball team [who, by the way, are immensely talented athletes], or what Chris Simon did to Ryan Hollweg, I'm talking about rules and respect. Every place has them, and every place has a reason for them.
They're not novelty acts or moves of contrition from some earlier sin, they're to be taken seriously and obeyed. The government doesn't say "maybe you shouldn't have shot that guy, it seems to have hurt," and you shouldn't need to be told: not to racially slur ANYONE, or damn near behead them on the ice.
The other big issue in both these cases, is a complete disregard of common sense. How many years do you have to be "in the business," to learn what the rules are, not to break them, and what precisely will happen if you do?!
It seems to me that both Imus, and Simon: damn well knew the rules, knew what would happen if they either broke them or challenged them, and simply decided not to give a damn. This is evident because both men have broken the rules before, and showed little, if any, remorse.
Hey, guys! You got what's comming to ya. Don't be surprised, don't bull shit me like you didn't see it, and don't pretend like any of this is really sinking in. You haven't learned your lessons before, however many hundred times it was, you haven't learned it now. And not a single person believes you have. If you're willing to throw away a career you obviously worship, how can anyone believe you ever truly cared in the first place?
Imus: you were in radio for God's sake! Didn't it ever occur to you, that the reason you're on the air is because people listen?! You're there to entertain THEM! Not yourself. If you want to do that, sit at home with the shades drawn.
Further more, you had to believe in this great country of ours, that not everyone thinks like you. Not everyone's gonna like you, some people might not even be able to stand you, and above all else, EVERYONE is equal!
Don't think, for a second, that MSNBC and CBS did the wrong thing. They are the smart ones in this case. I applaud both networks for their decision, but I give a rousing ovation to CBS. Not only did your comments regarding MSNBC's firing, show an abscence of morals, but it showed that you weren't affraid. You continued not to take anything seriously, and failed to notice the value of what was about to happen.
Everyone knows your sphere of influence exists because CBS controls it. CBS, took down the giant. They hit you where it mattered. I hope THAT truly makes you feel something.
As for Chris Simon: read my "Hockey Blog."
In summation: if you ever wonder why you're constantly in trouble....to quote Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar," "Stop breakin the law ass hole!"
Phoning It In
I wrote this over the summer, in response to a letter my brother in law, Patrick, sent to me from his iPhone. At the end of the letter, the "Sincerely" part, he (I didn't know, when this was originally written, that the iPhone adds "from my iPhone" on its own.) made special humorous note that he sent it from his iPhone. You see, he's quite proud of the thing, and to be honest, it's pretty damn cool. So I thought it'd be pretty damn funny to write a letter to the iPhone itself. Here's the result:
Mr....uh...Patrick's iPhone-
I'm sorry to great you with such muted geniality, but it is tough for me to know how to great a phone. I could have started with the ol' "good to see you once again good buddy," but seeing as we have not really ever formed a formal friendship I thought that might be a bit presumptious of me. I immediately through out the classic and street wise "what up, my man? How goes it?" In light of the fact that, well, let's be honest here, it makes me sound quite pathetic and I'm not that cool. To that effect, the phraze "I hope this day finds you in high spirits, good sir," also makes me sound quite pathetic and...British. In the abscence of a formal greeting I felt would do the trick, I begrudgingly decided to air on the side of muted geniality. I hope I have not let you down with the soft opening to my letter, but I do intend to get to know you as friends rightly should. I know it is tough in the retail world. Sitting in a store somewhere you do not know. Being looked after and cared for by people whose intentions you are never truly sure are really all that bittersweet. Hoping that one day some kind young lady will grace that which you've come to accept as home, and take you from the tensions of wondering "will this day finally be mine?" and bring you to proper place of residence. A place where all that worries you can be comforted in the calming and relaxing hands of your owner. I hope Patrick has been: comforting in your times of need, soothing when anger rages inside of you, and has always lent a willing and open ear to your concerns and joys. I know Patrick to be a VERY kind, caring, and extremely humorous man. I have spent many a time enjoying his company, and laughing along with him, and I can assure you, you will do the same. As for now, I will sign off and leave you with this: you are in VERY kind and decent hands, and your life will be filled with many joys, but should anything in any way negative happen, Patrick will take you the world's foremost specialists who will deduce and correct anything that ails you as fast as possible. You are one lucky phone, and I hope to see you soon to further our friendship. Good luck and god bless.
Sincerely,
Patrick's brother-in-law,
Dan
Mr....uh...Patrick's iPhone-
I'm sorry to great you with such muted geniality, but it is tough for me to know how to great a phone. I could have started with the ol' "good to see you once again good buddy," but seeing as we have not really ever formed a formal friendship I thought that might be a bit presumptious of me. I immediately through out the classic and street wise "what up, my man? How goes it?" In light of the fact that, well, let's be honest here, it makes me sound quite pathetic and I'm not that cool. To that effect, the phraze "I hope this day finds you in high spirits, good sir," also makes me sound quite pathetic and...British. In the abscence of a formal greeting I felt would do the trick, I begrudgingly decided to air on the side of muted geniality. I hope I have not let you down with the soft opening to my letter, but I do intend to get to know you as friends rightly should. I know it is tough in the retail world. Sitting in a store somewhere you do not know. Being looked after and cared for by people whose intentions you are never truly sure are really all that bittersweet. Hoping that one day some kind young lady will grace that which you've come to accept as home, and take you from the tensions of wondering "will this day finally be mine?" and bring you to proper place of residence. A place where all that worries you can be comforted in the calming and relaxing hands of your owner. I hope Patrick has been: comforting in your times of need, soothing when anger rages inside of you, and has always lent a willing and open ear to your concerns and joys. I know Patrick to be a VERY kind, caring, and extremely humorous man. I have spent many a time enjoying his company, and laughing along with him, and I can assure you, you will do the same. As for now, I will sign off and leave you with this: you are in VERY kind and decent hands, and your life will be filled with many joys, but should anything in any way negative happen, Patrick will take you the world's foremost specialists who will deduce and correct anything that ails you as fast as possible. You are one lucky phone, and I hope to see you soon to further our friendship. Good luck and god bless.
Sincerely,
Patrick's brother-in-law,
Dan
Sunday, September 23, 2007
En Memorium
Sometimes there are things, or moments, in life that it is best to leave and let lie. To leave to the past, and the memories of the survivors. There are scabs from cuts so deep, they scar the soul for many millenia to come. But sometimes, in order to heal, and live as best you can, you need to open the wounds and speak the agony on your mind. Only then can you hope to begin some salvation.
Everyone needs to deal with tragedy in their own way. Everyone needs to figure out, within themselves, how to deal with a horror no eyes should ever see. But they do need to deal and cope, and everyone can. Some people can't do it all on their own, and that's what friends, family, and loved ones are for. That's even what complete strangers are for.
If there's one thing, of many, that I know about us as Americans: it's that for all our differences and dissagreements, when our way of life and our fellow citizens are threatened, we thoughtlessly band together and show heroic and immeasurable compassion for each other. We put aside competition, differences, and athletic rivalries however legendary they may be. Because the things that matters above all else, is that we are human beings who are equal in every way and we are Americans.
There is also an evil amongst us, who sees themselves not as Americans, but as a world all their own. They follow their own laws, deliver their own edicts, and conform to society only when it suits them. They exist outside our country, and should not be counted among us. Not only not as Americans, but also not as human.
To insist, or rather to simply state: that people who made THEIR own decisions to lead THEIR lives by driving expensive cars, living in huge mansions, and "drinking cognac" is in any way a degredation to you, is pure bull shit! Who knows why they made the decisions that they did. Maybe they got tired of working nine to five behind a fast food counter [like MILLIONS of Americans have!], and decided to try their luck on the stage or screen, because a few people said they were talented.
Or maybe, after spending so much of their young lives singing their heart out, someone offered them a record deal. They didn't say, "maybe I'll sign this million dollar dotted line so I can further opress some high school kids and a college student, under my boot."
They simply made a decision, because it was something they loved to do and they thought they could make a better life for themselves. Making a better life for yourself is something everyone wants. Murder is not a way. None of those students ever did anything to you, and probably never would. They could've helped you on exams, or led you down a path to the riches you so blatantly said you wanted.
But you never gave them that opportunity. How can you know what they would've said or done if you never saw a face. One of those people could have been the key to what you said you deserved, but you didn't let them speak. There could have been a candle of promise standing in front of you, willing to help you to those riches, and you blew out the flame.
I can hardly believe any of what you say is true. Except, maybe for the abscence of YOUR riches. Because I believe that had they actually existed for you, you wouldn't have done what you did. You say people are selfish, and hogging things for themselves...but had you had those things, you'd be the same way. Now who's the selfish one?!
The other thing you need to truly feel, is that: every sister has a brother, and everyone is someone's son or daughter. Everyone has someone who cares about them, and is probably somewhere inside them, feeling a hell of a lot of revenge. Some one is wishing you felt the same pain.
You didn't take away shells that meant nothing, you took away lives that had feelings and compassion for the world. In the numerous cases I've heard, one [unfortunately] jumps to mind.
I forget the young man's name, or his sister's [my deepest soul felt appologies], but I do recall they were in the school's library taking cover, when she was shot. No one could leave, no one could move, and he was trapped..with her..in his arms. He had to sit there, and watch his sister die. His....SISTER!!!
Does any one fucking comprehend this?! Not a teacher, not a friend, not even an administrator...his SISTER!! Can anyone, even grasp the horror of that moment?! Not only were his friends and classmates dying, his sister was IN HIS ARMS!! His life and his mind crumbled at that moment. I can only hope for him, where ever you are, that you have found hope [in some way] and love. I know what I feel for my sister and I couldn't fathom loosing her, and I can't even begin to imagine your torture.
I write this, not to bring up the past to haunt and torment the survivors. I do not wish, by any means to: sadden, destroy, offend, or hurt the people of Littleton Colorado and Blacksburg Virginia. I only wish to: speak my peace, unburden some of my pain, and remember in memorial the victims of those days. I know it is of little help, but I send: my deepest condolences, my most soulfelt sorrows, and my brightest hopes for a better tomorrow.
To everyone who by any chance reads this, we must always remember: April 20th 1999, and April 16th 2007. We must keep in our minds, what happened, so we can make our souls and spirits stronger every day, and guard ourselves so it doesn't happen again.
En Memorium:
To the victims of Columbine High School, and Virginia Tech. University:
I will always remember you, even though I never knew you. I wish, with all my heart, there was something I could've done.
Everyone needs to deal with tragedy in their own way. Everyone needs to figure out, within themselves, how to deal with a horror no eyes should ever see. But they do need to deal and cope, and everyone can. Some people can't do it all on their own, and that's what friends, family, and loved ones are for. That's even what complete strangers are for.
If there's one thing, of many, that I know about us as Americans: it's that for all our differences and dissagreements, when our way of life and our fellow citizens are threatened, we thoughtlessly band together and show heroic and immeasurable compassion for each other. We put aside competition, differences, and athletic rivalries however legendary they may be. Because the things that matters above all else, is that we are human beings who are equal in every way and we are Americans.
There is also an evil amongst us, who sees themselves not as Americans, but as a world all their own. They follow their own laws, deliver their own edicts, and conform to society only when it suits them. They exist outside our country, and should not be counted among us. Not only not as Americans, but also not as human.
To insist, or rather to simply state: that people who made THEIR own decisions to lead THEIR lives by driving expensive cars, living in huge mansions, and "drinking cognac" is in any way a degredation to you, is pure bull shit! Who knows why they made the decisions that they did. Maybe they got tired of working nine to five behind a fast food counter [like MILLIONS of Americans have!], and decided to try their luck on the stage or screen, because a few people said they were talented.
Or maybe, after spending so much of their young lives singing their heart out, someone offered them a record deal. They didn't say, "maybe I'll sign this million dollar dotted line so I can further opress some high school kids and a college student, under my boot."
They simply made a decision, because it was something they loved to do and they thought they could make a better life for themselves. Making a better life for yourself is something everyone wants. Murder is not a way. None of those students ever did anything to you, and probably never would. They could've helped you on exams, or led you down a path to the riches you so blatantly said you wanted.
But you never gave them that opportunity. How can you know what they would've said or done if you never saw a face. One of those people could have been the key to what you said you deserved, but you didn't let them speak. There could have been a candle of promise standing in front of you, willing to help you to those riches, and you blew out the flame.
I can hardly believe any of what you say is true. Except, maybe for the abscence of YOUR riches. Because I believe that had they actually existed for you, you wouldn't have done what you did. You say people are selfish, and hogging things for themselves...but had you had those things, you'd be the same way. Now who's the selfish one?!
The other thing you need to truly feel, is that: every sister has a brother, and everyone is someone's son or daughter. Everyone has someone who cares about them, and is probably somewhere inside them, feeling a hell of a lot of revenge. Some one is wishing you felt the same pain.
You didn't take away shells that meant nothing, you took away lives that had feelings and compassion for the world. In the numerous cases I've heard, one [unfortunately] jumps to mind.
I forget the young man's name, or his sister's [my deepest soul felt appologies], but I do recall they were in the school's library taking cover, when she was shot. No one could leave, no one could move, and he was trapped..with her..in his arms. He had to sit there, and watch his sister die. His....SISTER!!!
Does any one fucking comprehend this?! Not a teacher, not a friend, not even an administrator...his SISTER!! Can anyone, even grasp the horror of that moment?! Not only were his friends and classmates dying, his sister was IN HIS ARMS!! His life and his mind crumbled at that moment. I can only hope for him, where ever you are, that you have found hope [in some way] and love. I know what I feel for my sister and I couldn't fathom loosing her, and I can't even begin to imagine your torture.
I write this, not to bring up the past to haunt and torment the survivors. I do not wish, by any means to: sadden, destroy, offend, or hurt the people of Littleton Colorado and Blacksburg Virginia. I only wish to: speak my peace, unburden some of my pain, and remember in memorial the victims of those days. I know it is of little help, but I send: my deepest condolences, my most soulfelt sorrows, and my brightest hopes for a better tomorrow.
To everyone who by any chance reads this, we must always remember: April 20th 1999, and April 16th 2007. We must keep in our minds, what happened, so we can make our souls and spirits stronger every day, and guard ourselves so it doesn't happen again.
En Memorium:
To the victims of Columbine High School, and Virginia Tech. University:
I will always remember you, even though I never knew you. I wish, with all my heart, there was something I could've done.
7 Seconds
There are four types of situations in life: things that make sense, things that are stupid and utterly moronic but make a little bit of sense, things that seem like they make sense but are born in borderline insanity, and things that are off the wall bat shit crazy!
Granted My Space is a great place to talk to people who are otherwise VERY difficult to get ahold of, and talk directly to people you admire. Some of these people are even gracious and kind enough to write to you [thank you Jane Monheit, and Jeff Lindsay], thus showing what truly decent and amazing people they are.
But people like that are few and far between. Most people just have other people manage their site for them. Which makes sense, due to their busy schedule, but guarentees you'll never get a response. But that's not really my beef. Although it does seem a waste of time, and defeat a MAJOR purpose of My Space.
My beef is with politicians. What the hell are ANY of them doing on My Space?! My Space may be for any one, but NOT for politicians. They're suppose to be representing us voting Americans in government, not dicking around on the internet! Sitting down, chatting with random people, even if you're trying to get votes, is NOT an adequate use of time!
No wonder we can't find Osama, these clowns are too busy trying to meet new people and reminding them to vote. Which in it's intention, is a good thing. But, that's something we all can do. By doing something as simple as...[gasp] opening our mouths!
Hey, guys! Does it ever occur to you that the people you're meeting may not actually be the age they say? Joe Miller my actually be little Joey. This is a place to meet people, and sometimes [I'd imagine more often than not], people will go to any lengths. Not everyone has good intentions. Some people are so lonely, that they'll invent entire personas, just to have someone to talk to.
They'll inflate their ages, and their egos, to have the kind of conversation they can't have in their real world. Eventually these things get out of hand, and suddenly a 40 year old man who's created his own persona as a teenager tries to solicit them.
What I'm saying is, if you're trying to get voters, My Space and sites like it, are the stupidest waste of time. Not only your time, but ours as well. All you've done is created another way to lie to us.
Every year some politician makes a promise they may have thought they could keep, but really never intended to. And I'll clue you in to something else here, no one wants to sit down and have a simple IM-LOL-BRB [if any politician knows what any of that means] chat with a politician.
By the time most people are at the point of wanting to chat, the first thing on their mind is NOT "good job," it's "what the hell happened, and what are you gonna do about it?" If you want us to listen: 1. get off My Space and sites like it, you're not cool or hip and never will be, 2. tell us what you're gonna do about something and ACTUALLY DO IT! and 3. stop saying we made a mistake [no shit! We figured that out!], making excuses for what didn't happen and FIX the situation NOW!
Which brings me to my next point, the President. Or, YOUR president, I should say. My America has no president! Any man, or woman for that matter, who waits 7 SECONDS when they're told that two planes were flown into two tall buildings, has no business calling themself American, much less our president.
I don't mean to de-value the World Trade Centers at all, they were icons to our way of life, but it was they people in them that gave them life. And it was the passengers on those planes who are true heroes.
When you freeze up, and stare for ANY amount of time after news like that, it says one of two things: either you had some idea something was amiss, or you had no fucking clue what to do. I don't think Bush is a conspirator, but I do think that if you have ANY inkling [even a hair out of place or standing up on the back of your neck] than you have an OBLIGATION and a duty to say something, ANYTHING. You're the president for christ's sake, someone will listen!
On my second point, if you had no fucking clue what to do: what the hell are you doing as the head of state?! You were elected [in what I'm convinced was a twice over massive brain injury] to represent us and defend us in times of attack and tragedy. Yoo hoo! Mr President! That was an act of war!
The appropriate response is: "let's find these fuckers and drop kick 'em into a new dimension," not "uhhhhhhh, what now?" Get off your ass, walk in front of Congress, and demand [not ask] that your freedom and way of life be defended. That's your response! And it's not one to think about, it's automatic. If I know that, and all of my family and friends know that, than you better know it too.
When you find a reason to march us into war, make sure you prove it. Don't make shit up, and insist it's the truth even when millions of people [your own people] catch you in the lie. Make sure you can prove to those who'll doubt you, cause there will be A LOT, that you made the right call.
Oh! And that "storm" in New Orleans...no one's kidding! It REALLY was a hurricane! There was water in the streets of one of this countries greatest icons! New Orleans is a signature of our culture, our music, and our future. You just let it go. What kind of person lets his own citizens suffer?
It may have been mostly on FEMA's shoulders, but you're the president, everything comes back to you. YOU are responsible.
In summation: if you want votes, go some where else. You look phony, and you come off trying to be something you're not....hip. When people try to be something they're not, it's pathetic. Not everyone on here is who they say they are. When you are President you defend your freedom and way of life automatically. You don't second, or even first, guess yourself. And you DON'T neglect your own citizens. It's insulting and disgraceful. I am not trying to cause any kind of an uprising, I'm just venting my frustration and views.
Granted My Space is a great place to talk to people who are otherwise VERY difficult to get ahold of, and talk directly to people you admire. Some of these people are even gracious and kind enough to write to you [thank you Jane Monheit, and Jeff Lindsay], thus showing what truly decent and amazing people they are.
But people like that are few and far between. Most people just have other people manage their site for them. Which makes sense, due to their busy schedule, but guarentees you'll never get a response. But that's not really my beef. Although it does seem a waste of time, and defeat a MAJOR purpose of My Space.
My beef is with politicians. What the hell are ANY of them doing on My Space?! My Space may be for any one, but NOT for politicians. They're suppose to be representing us voting Americans in government, not dicking around on the internet! Sitting down, chatting with random people, even if you're trying to get votes, is NOT an adequate use of time!
No wonder we can't find Osama, these clowns are too busy trying to meet new people and reminding them to vote. Which in it's intention, is a good thing. But, that's something we all can do. By doing something as simple as...[gasp] opening our mouths!
Hey, guys! Does it ever occur to you that the people you're meeting may not actually be the age they say? Joe Miller my actually be little Joey. This is a place to meet people, and sometimes [I'd imagine more often than not], people will go to any lengths. Not everyone has good intentions. Some people are so lonely, that they'll invent entire personas, just to have someone to talk to.
They'll inflate their ages, and their egos, to have the kind of conversation they can't have in their real world. Eventually these things get out of hand, and suddenly a 40 year old man who's created his own persona as a teenager tries to solicit them.
What I'm saying is, if you're trying to get voters, My Space and sites like it, are the stupidest waste of time. Not only your time, but ours as well. All you've done is created another way to lie to us.
Every year some politician makes a promise they may have thought they could keep, but really never intended to. And I'll clue you in to something else here, no one wants to sit down and have a simple IM-LOL-BRB [if any politician knows what any of that means] chat with a politician.
By the time most people are at the point of wanting to chat, the first thing on their mind is NOT "good job," it's "what the hell happened, and what are you gonna do about it?" If you want us to listen: 1. get off My Space and sites like it, you're not cool or hip and never will be, 2. tell us what you're gonna do about something and ACTUALLY DO IT! and 3. stop saying we made a mistake [no shit! We figured that out!], making excuses for what didn't happen and FIX the situation NOW!
Which brings me to my next point, the President. Or, YOUR president, I should say. My America has no president! Any man, or woman for that matter, who waits 7 SECONDS when they're told that two planes were flown into two tall buildings, has no business calling themself American, much less our president.
I don't mean to de-value the World Trade Centers at all, they were icons to our way of life, but it was they people in them that gave them life. And it was the passengers on those planes who are true heroes.
When you freeze up, and stare for ANY amount of time after news like that, it says one of two things: either you had some idea something was amiss, or you had no fucking clue what to do. I don't think Bush is a conspirator, but I do think that if you have ANY inkling [even a hair out of place or standing up on the back of your neck] than you have an OBLIGATION and a duty to say something, ANYTHING. You're the president for christ's sake, someone will listen!
On my second point, if you had no fucking clue what to do: what the hell are you doing as the head of state?! You were elected [in what I'm convinced was a twice over massive brain injury] to represent us and defend us in times of attack and tragedy. Yoo hoo! Mr President! That was an act of war!
The appropriate response is: "let's find these fuckers and drop kick 'em into a new dimension," not "uhhhhhhh, what now?" Get off your ass, walk in front of Congress, and demand [not ask] that your freedom and way of life be defended. That's your response! And it's not one to think about, it's automatic. If I know that, and all of my family and friends know that, than you better know it too.
When you find a reason to march us into war, make sure you prove it. Don't make shit up, and insist it's the truth even when millions of people [your own people] catch you in the lie. Make sure you can prove to those who'll doubt you, cause there will be A LOT, that you made the right call.
Oh! And that "storm" in New Orleans...no one's kidding! It REALLY was a hurricane! There was water in the streets of one of this countries greatest icons! New Orleans is a signature of our culture, our music, and our future. You just let it go. What kind of person lets his own citizens suffer?
It may have been mostly on FEMA's shoulders, but you're the president, everything comes back to you. YOU are responsible.
In summation: if you want votes, go some where else. You look phony, and you come off trying to be something you're not....hip. When people try to be something they're not, it's pathetic. Not everyone on here is who they say they are. When you are President you defend your freedom and way of life automatically. You don't second, or even first, guess yourself. And you DON'T neglect your own citizens. It's insulting and disgraceful. I am not trying to cause any kind of an uprising, I'm just venting my frustration and views.
Down the Rabbit Hole
There is something wrong with the world. You are being lied to. Take the blue pill, and believe whatever you would like to believe. Take the red pill, and we will show you how deep the rabbit hole goes...
It goes pretty far. Just as Laurence Fishburn showed Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, so I have been shown in the real world
As a writer, I've realized a lot of things this year, and in years past. When doing research for a story, the only person you have to rely on is yourself. It's nice to have family and friends help you out and answer questions when you need them. But they're your friends and family, that's what they're there for..to help. And more often then not, they'll be there for you to call on when you need them. Even if it's for just a quick, albeit seemingly pointless, inquiry at the time.
For a city that has spawned such legends as: Prince, Bob Dylan, Al Franken (sorry guys, like him or not, he's a legend..and pretty damn funny too), Soul Asylum, and even the boys from Semisonic (damn you Dan Wilson! I can't get that "Closing Time" song out of my head), you'd expect to be able to get a few questions answered with the simple opener "hi, I'm a writer, and I'm writing a story on....."
You'd expect that, and you'd be DEAD fucking wrong! I love Minneapolis, I really do. But trying to ask a simple question, in a calm and friendly unassuming way, is about as effective as joining the Timberwolves by headbutting an electrified lightning rod at 90 miles an hour. Sure you'd be pretty severely injured, and a bit drain banamaged....I mean, brain damaged, but you'd be better than over three quarters of the team (Kevin Garnett being the remaining percentage).
Okay, maybe that's not the best comparison, but you get my point. You get virtually no where either way. This is a city with A LOT of fame, and history behind it! Minneapolis carries quite a big punch in the fame market, and when you can't get a single person to help you out (except the good folks at Wedding Day Diamonds in Maple Grove) you begin to wonder "why is this city even fucking famous at all?!!"
How is it possible that all these legends got their start, and got their proverbial fame wagon rolling, when not a single person would help them out? Or is it their choice of career which endeered them to the city's history?
No, it can't be. Look at: Vince Flynn, P.J. Tracy (a mother-daughter team, half of whom no longer live here), John Sandford, William Kent Kruger. All authors. They had to have gotten help from somewhere. And since their novels are set here, they either knew everything about the places they were writing, or asked some one for help.
I've been advised by both Minnesota writers, and average people, to just ask someone. Be nice, and just ask. Mention that you're a writer, and be nice, and people will respond. Generally, yes, if you're nice and kind people in Minneapolis will treat you the same way. NOT if you're a writer! I can't tell you how many glassy eyed, rubber stamp, carbon copy, responses I've gotten simply by smiling at someone and kindly asking for help.
I know it's all in the way you "pitch" it, but like I said, this is a city that is no stranger to fame. Minneapolis, and it's denizens, know what fame is like and have come accross dozens of newbies trying to get off the ground. They should recognize help when it needs it. After all, isn't there something called "Minnesota Nice?"
Which, coincidentally, I've been told by Minnesotans themselves, is the biggest load of bullshit perpetrated on humankind in hundreds of years. I'll say that again, I DIDN'T come up with that, several NATIVE MINNESOTANS have told me that. I for one am quite fond of Minnesota, it's the best place I've lived since leaving my home in New York. There's just A LOT of stuff I don't get. Which is pretty common in any state, or country for that matter.
I just wish that when I asked a question, because as a writer I want to know what the hell I'm writing about, the question got answered. It's not fun being ignored, or getting your hopes up that you'll finally be able to get somewhere, only to end up chasing the rabbit further down the hole.
And speaking of chasing rabbits down holes, can any tell me what the fuck the point of Myspace is? I know for meeting friends, and I've made quite a lot. But only a few of them can actually be called friends.
Myspace has turned the word "friends" into a euphemism, or a novelty act. Friends are people you joke around with, playfully tease, or hang out with at sports bars, ball games, or (shudder) the mall. NOT a mouse click on a computer! It never hurts to meet new people, but when 90+ percent of those people either NEVER check their mail, or have no intention of getting back to you...it makes the whole process worthless.
There are exceptions to that statement of course. There are people who, as I've mentioned before, take time out of their busy schedules to write you back. Not just people you know, who you may have no other way of getting in touch with other than Myspace, but famous people. People you admire, look up to, and in some cases, adore.
These people not only show their true gift as musicians, actors, or comedians, but as human beings. These are the people who remind us that: no matter how different we are, no matter how much we think they're better than us at what they do and we wish we could do, that we are all alike and equal. They remind us that they are human, and just as prone to...well, to quote a friend of mine, "fuck up,".....as much as we are.
Simply by responding to an e-mail from someone they'll probably never meet, they show us that it doesn't matter how big they are, or how many marquees have beared their name, everyone matters to them. Everyone! That is a friend! That is someone truly to be admired.
I thank them, each and every one, for responding to my inquiries. Thank you: Jane Monheit, Kevin Steinman, J. Tyler O'neill, Katherine Crowe, & Erin Bode.
What Myspace, isn't good for, is..well, most of things it says it IS good for. You can only get hits on your page if someone actually looks at it. NOT from glancing at it, on their way to something else. From actually reading what you have to say. And that has only happened in ONE instance I have EVER heard of in my life! My cousin Kevin and his fiancee Ina.
I just want some one, ANY ONE, to READ what I have to say! I can only pray to have the love they have. And I hope I get it. Even this way, although I don't have any confidence (aside from what I've witnessed with Kevin and Ina) in this whole internet thing.
When no one looks at something you put A LOT of effort into, it's like being ignored. You wonder why you've wasted so much time and blown so much energy. Which is the very thing I wonder about my writing. Everyone I know who has seen it, compliments me and tells me how talented I am.
I haven't thought of myself as talented at really anything, except writing...which I love doing. For someone to see that, and feel what I intend the reader to feel, or even to convey to me their perceptions of what I've written is an honor. It's also frustrating and very annoying when no one gives you the time of day.
But as I've said before, there are exceptions. According to Myspace I have 80 some odd "friends." These are the people who've responded back to me, the people who really can assume that label: Kevin Steinman and his fiancee Ina, J. Tyler O'neill, Jane Monheit, Anthony (I promised I wouldn't reveal his last name), Justin Hall (ooops, sorry, "Metro"), Jamie-San (no last name again), Christopher Moore, Erin Bode, Molly Zi...Zie..(sorry Molly, I fear I'm gonna screw up your last name again) and Beth Fedor.
Eleven people out of 80+. My point is this: Myspace really has no clue about what the word "friend" means, what's next...love? Don't fuck with love.
In summation, finally: research is best approached, if at all, from a calm unassuming and well meaning and well researched itself, way. In a sense, you have to research, research. Just getting out in the world and approaching people kindly, and explaining your purpose, gets you no where and gets you nothing. Except glassy eyes, drug stoned expressions, and fake promises. Myspace is great: for talking to people you otherwise would not be able to get ahold of in any other way, and talking to people you admire. If you're lucky and find the few of them who will actually respond to you, you can say you truly know a decent and kind person. Some one who deserves every bit of their fame.
If someone actually does READ your page, and what you have to say, than rest in the fact that they are responding to who you really are. Or at least the "you" you present on this pain in the ass (Myspace). And, let me know what that feels like. Thank you to my cousin Kevin, for letting me be a part of your life, and your career. I have helped in every way I know I can, and you keep letting me. I know I'm not the greatest guy around, but you still call on me if you need to. I look up to you every day, Kev, and I only wish I could have half the luck, talent, and love that you do. I hope I can continue to be part of your life and career.
If anyone offers you the red pill or the blue pill: grab the red one, slug down some water, and hang on. The hole's pretty deep, and the rabbit's pretty fast.
It goes pretty far. Just as Laurence Fishburn showed Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, so I have been shown in the real world
As a writer, I've realized a lot of things this year, and in years past. When doing research for a story, the only person you have to rely on is yourself. It's nice to have family and friends help you out and answer questions when you need them. But they're your friends and family, that's what they're there for..to help. And more often then not, they'll be there for you to call on when you need them. Even if it's for just a quick, albeit seemingly pointless, inquiry at the time.
For a city that has spawned such legends as: Prince, Bob Dylan, Al Franken (sorry guys, like him or not, he's a legend..and pretty damn funny too), Soul Asylum, and even the boys from Semisonic (damn you Dan Wilson! I can't get that "Closing Time" song out of my head), you'd expect to be able to get a few questions answered with the simple opener "hi, I'm a writer, and I'm writing a story on....."
You'd expect that, and you'd be DEAD fucking wrong! I love Minneapolis, I really do. But trying to ask a simple question, in a calm and friendly unassuming way, is about as effective as joining the Timberwolves by headbutting an electrified lightning rod at 90 miles an hour. Sure you'd be pretty severely injured, and a bit drain banamaged....I mean, brain damaged, but you'd be better than over three quarters of the team (Kevin Garnett being the remaining percentage).
Okay, maybe that's not the best comparison, but you get my point. You get virtually no where either way. This is a city with A LOT of fame, and history behind it! Minneapolis carries quite a big punch in the fame market, and when you can't get a single person to help you out (except the good folks at Wedding Day Diamonds in Maple Grove) you begin to wonder "why is this city even fucking famous at all?!!"
How is it possible that all these legends got their start, and got their proverbial fame wagon rolling, when not a single person would help them out? Or is it their choice of career which endeered them to the city's history?
No, it can't be. Look at: Vince Flynn, P.J. Tracy (a mother-daughter team, half of whom no longer live here), John Sandford, William Kent Kruger. All authors. They had to have gotten help from somewhere. And since their novels are set here, they either knew everything about the places they were writing, or asked some one for help.
I've been advised by both Minnesota writers, and average people, to just ask someone. Be nice, and just ask. Mention that you're a writer, and be nice, and people will respond. Generally, yes, if you're nice and kind people in Minneapolis will treat you the same way. NOT if you're a writer! I can't tell you how many glassy eyed, rubber stamp, carbon copy, responses I've gotten simply by smiling at someone and kindly asking for help.
I know it's all in the way you "pitch" it, but like I said, this is a city that is no stranger to fame. Minneapolis, and it's denizens, know what fame is like and have come accross dozens of newbies trying to get off the ground. They should recognize help when it needs it. After all, isn't there something called "Minnesota Nice?"
Which, coincidentally, I've been told by Minnesotans themselves, is the biggest load of bullshit perpetrated on humankind in hundreds of years. I'll say that again, I DIDN'T come up with that, several NATIVE MINNESOTANS have told me that. I for one am quite fond of Minnesota, it's the best place I've lived since leaving my home in New York. There's just A LOT of stuff I don't get. Which is pretty common in any state, or country for that matter.
I just wish that when I asked a question, because as a writer I want to know what the hell I'm writing about, the question got answered. It's not fun being ignored, or getting your hopes up that you'll finally be able to get somewhere, only to end up chasing the rabbit further down the hole.
And speaking of chasing rabbits down holes, can any tell me what the fuck the point of Myspace is? I know for meeting friends, and I've made quite a lot. But only a few of them can actually be called friends.
Myspace has turned the word "friends" into a euphemism, or a novelty act. Friends are people you joke around with, playfully tease, or hang out with at sports bars, ball games, or (shudder) the mall. NOT a mouse click on a computer! It never hurts to meet new people, but when 90+ percent of those people either NEVER check their mail, or have no intention of getting back to you...it makes the whole process worthless.
There are exceptions to that statement of course. There are people who, as I've mentioned before, take time out of their busy schedules to write you back. Not just people you know, who you may have no other way of getting in touch with other than Myspace, but famous people. People you admire, look up to, and in some cases, adore.
These people not only show their true gift as musicians, actors, or comedians, but as human beings. These are the people who remind us that: no matter how different we are, no matter how much we think they're better than us at what they do and we wish we could do, that we are all alike and equal. They remind us that they are human, and just as prone to...well, to quote a friend of mine, "fuck up,".....as much as we are.
Simply by responding to an e-mail from someone they'll probably never meet, they show us that it doesn't matter how big they are, or how many marquees have beared their name, everyone matters to them. Everyone! That is a friend! That is someone truly to be admired.
I thank them, each and every one, for responding to my inquiries. Thank you: Jane Monheit, Kevin Steinman, J. Tyler O'neill, Katherine Crowe, & Erin Bode.
What Myspace, isn't good for, is..well, most of things it says it IS good for. You can only get hits on your page if someone actually looks at it. NOT from glancing at it, on their way to something else. From actually reading what you have to say. And that has only happened in ONE instance I have EVER heard of in my life! My cousin Kevin and his fiancee Ina.
I just want some one, ANY ONE, to READ what I have to say! I can only pray to have the love they have. And I hope I get it. Even this way, although I don't have any confidence (aside from what I've witnessed with Kevin and Ina) in this whole internet thing.
When no one looks at something you put A LOT of effort into, it's like being ignored. You wonder why you've wasted so much time and blown so much energy. Which is the very thing I wonder about my writing. Everyone I know who has seen it, compliments me and tells me how talented I am.
I haven't thought of myself as talented at really anything, except writing...which I love doing. For someone to see that, and feel what I intend the reader to feel, or even to convey to me their perceptions of what I've written is an honor. It's also frustrating and very annoying when no one gives you the time of day.
But as I've said before, there are exceptions. According to Myspace I have 80 some odd "friends." These are the people who've responded back to me, the people who really can assume that label: Kevin Steinman and his fiancee Ina, J. Tyler O'neill, Jane Monheit, Anthony (I promised I wouldn't reveal his last name), Justin Hall (ooops, sorry, "Metro"), Jamie-San (no last name again), Christopher Moore, Erin Bode, Molly Zi...Zie..(sorry Molly, I fear I'm gonna screw up your last name again) and Beth Fedor.
Eleven people out of 80+. My point is this: Myspace really has no clue about what the word "friend" means, what's next...love? Don't fuck with love.
In summation, finally: research is best approached, if at all, from a calm unassuming and well meaning and well researched itself, way. In a sense, you have to research, research. Just getting out in the world and approaching people kindly, and explaining your purpose, gets you no where and gets you nothing. Except glassy eyes, drug stoned expressions, and fake promises. Myspace is great: for talking to people you otherwise would not be able to get ahold of in any other way, and talking to people you admire. If you're lucky and find the few of them who will actually respond to you, you can say you truly know a decent and kind person. Some one who deserves every bit of their fame.
If someone actually does READ your page, and what you have to say, than rest in the fact that they are responding to who you really are. Or at least the "you" you present on this pain in the ass (Myspace). And, let me know what that feels like. Thank you to my cousin Kevin, for letting me be a part of your life, and your career. I have helped in every way I know I can, and you keep letting me. I know I'm not the greatest guy around, but you still call on me if you need to. I look up to you every day, Kev, and I only wish I could have half the luck, talent, and love that you do. I hope I can continue to be part of your life and career.
If anyone offers you the red pill or the blue pill: grab the red one, slug down some water, and hang on. The hole's pretty deep, and the rabbit's pretty fast.
Valley Of the Dead
A few days back I found myself wondering: if the small percent of people in this world, or even in this country, truly capable and smart enough to run it….actually did, how big of a high would we be on?
Probably not as big as one might project initially, because power corrupts, but we'd be a hell of a lot better off. But let's say that actually happened. All the control and the welfare of this country and it's people passed to the small percentage of truly smart people capable of governing..what would that look like?
Well, for starters, we'd be fucked. Our population would drop from 4…whatever million it currently is, to around…20 to 30 thousand. Not in one particular area, TOTAL! We'd need a COMPLETE, MASSIVE, RE-election of every damn office of government. Because, don't kid yourself here, not a single one of those pricks knows what the fuck they're doing…no matter how much you like them.
Except for, maybe: New York's Chuck Schumer, Minnesota's Amy Klobuchar, and Wisconsin's Russ Feingold. That's right, I said "New York's CHUCK SHUMER." NOT Hilary Clinton (I am SO ashamed of my state), Chuck Schumer.
I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against women running for president. As a matter of fact, I think one of them SHOULD be president….just not Hilary. I'd rather spend five hours in a rat hole, sucking a car exhaust pipe with Satan, than spend 2 seconds listening to anything she has to say.
Let me feed you some background on that. Back in my home town of Syracuse, NY, I worked for the Museum Of Science and Technology downtown (or what could be considered downtown) for a year or so. I was an usher (ticket taker, projectionist, theater attendant) for the IMAX Omintheater at the time Hilary and her entourage came through the area on a campaign oppression...sorry, campaign tour.
Her posse, which is actually the correct word, not "entourage," went into the theater to see an IMAX film. After personally telling each of us that she'd be in the theater herself to see the film and see what her contemporaries did on the job, she immediately turned her back and walked away.
Contemporaries (lie 1)?! The only people equal through her eyes are those with millions in their wallets, and Armani on their backs. Sure her posse didn't mean their sentiments either, but at least they had the cojones to listen to what people had to say.
Shortly after the film, and her blindingly obvious patronizing walk around the museum, she asked us to pose for a picture with her. Actually, she just yelled mildly loud, and when a few of us didn't hear her (cause you know, we were busy..DOING OUR JOBS!), she made one of her oompa loompas go around and remind us.
At the end of the photo...shoot, she asked if there were any questions. Yeah, why New York?! What the fuck did we ever do to you?! I didn't say that, I sure as hell thought it though. I forget what I asked, but her response if you can call it that, was to answer with another question having NOTHING to do with mine. She ACTUALLY passed the question off to a posse member, who answered it fairly well given the intelligence (and humanity) Hilary just sucked out of the building.
Through out the entire evening she was like glass. She never gave any indication, from what I know, that she gave half a shit about who we were as people, what our jobs entailed, and what we felt about politics. It's understandable, but not acceptable, if she was speaking to someone from...let's say, Maine...and didn't give a shit because Maine's not her state.
But when you completely brush off, and disrespect people from your own state...people who control whether or not you get elected...it's disgraceful. Every vote, every voice in this country matters! EVERY SINGLE ONE! Don't let any one bull shit you into believing otherwise! Everyone has an opinion, every one has a right to express it, and everyone has a right to tell someone who is misleading their state, and their country, to GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR HOUSE!
Those houses, governor..wise or presidential, are NOT the government's, their yours! Mine, yours, and every other citizen's those pricks are supposed to represent. We have every right to say: shut up, get out, and leave us the fuck alone!
I'm sorry, I don't give a shit who you are (unless you're my wife, or family) the world doesn't spin around you. My job is to assist museum guests, not some pompous jack ass who thinks she's the shit! Surprise Hilary, you're not! BILL IS! HE, and he alone, is responsible for your fame. If it wasn't for his name, you'd be no where.
Speaking of people who'd be no where: to paraphrase Bill Engvall and more graphicly George Carlin, my god there are a lot of stupid fuckers out there. I have an idea: why don't we take all those dumb asses that Bill Engvall's given signs to, and dump 'em in a valley some where.
A valley where only the small margin of smart people, know how to get to, and where the only things these idiots have to worry about is: which sand dune tastes more like water and why their niece/daughter's head is so misshapen.
The epitome of such astonishing and blinding stupidity, are these jackasses who walk around college towns, or areas of major cities where college age students live, and stick post its and flyers on car windshields. You're not doing anyone any favors. You're not passing out employment opportunities, you're commiting a felony. A person's car is their private property and their private space. Posting something on their car is like nailing porn to the window siding of their house. If you want to get away with it, than you should either be arrested or have something offensive and morally degrading stapled to your fore head. Then you can join the other mindless lemmings in the valley.
These are people who: 1. when walking out of the MINNEAPOLIS Convention Center, stop to ask me "which direction is Minneapolis," or 2. stand in front of me at a movie theater and take 5 fucking minutes staring up at showtimes, only to walk up the cashier and ask "is Harry Potter playing today?" And 3. my personal favorite: "do you work here," (at a place I DON'T work, and it's evident that I don't) I say no and they follow up with, "is there a bathroom?" Or, "Do you have....?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is NOT to be a smart ass when some one asks you those questions? It can literally cause a stroke trying to dodge sarcasm. Here's what I'd say: 1. "Minneapolis is....wait! Shit! Minneapolis! Fuck! I thought we were in Berumuda!" 2. "Nope, those are just suggestions for we thought we might want to show. We thought we'd fuck with you." 3. "Nope, they're just gonna fill you coffee, make you stand around and shit on the floor." and "Yes, we do, but I have no idea where it is."
We could invent some sort of restorative brain technique or machine to at least force these idiots to think, but then they'd probably try to find a way to use it to have kid number 40, or to cheat an alcohol detecting ankle bracelet.
Which brings me to my next subject, the Human Crack Farm...I mean, Lindsay Lohan. Why in the hell does anyone give a shit about her anymore? Don't bring her family into this, they're supposed to help. Which they don't appear to be giving a shit enough to do. They have taken action though, but only to bitch and assign blame for which parent is at fault.
In a recent MSN.com article, a reporter (who's name I forgot) stated that the only way to save Lindsay is to send her to jail. Wrong! It won't save her. She won't learn or get anything. Except a cell phone snuck to her (a la the ultimate fame/criminal whore Paris Hilton) and a shower moment only seen in porn.
The only way to save Lindsay, is not to. Leave her alone, and let her fall. Let the law take care of what ever it needs to, and believe me that will be A LOT, and let her crash. Drug use is premeditated. She knows what she's doing, she knows who she's hurting, she's apparently not minding destroying her family and her life, so why waste our time trying to help?
She won't take it, and she keeps following down ol' dad's path. Which is further ironic, given her comments years back that she won't be lack dad. She loves her family (apparently not anymore) and she won't see them in shambles. You want to know what everyone is trying to example of whom not to be like? You, Lindsay!
Some people will only learn through severe pain and tragedy, Lindsay is one of those people. And apparently it needs to happen to her. I'm not wishing her death, FAR from it, I'm only saying she needs to fall and fall HARD. She needs to loose something before she realizes what it mattered. And she's needs to realize that she's an ass. Maybe she can change that, but it looks unlikely.
A lot of comparisons have been made to Robert Downey Jr. While their stories are VERY similar, Downey was smart enought to save himself. He realized what he lost and what mattered. He was an ass, too...so he stopped and got his life back. Kodos and all my applause Robert.
He was pathetic, now he's back on track and apparently happy...Lindsay's APATHETIC, apparently hopeless, and going to stay that way.
In conclusion: instead of letting all the morons roam free, why not find them a valley somewhere, where they can: romp gleefully, mate with their siblings, and drink sand. Or maybe, just simply, we should take Bill Engvall's suggestion. Of course, only 20 - 30 thousand of us would be sign free. If you're running for any office: smile, be sincere, when someone asks you a question..ANSWER IT without passing the buck onto someone else! It's not their job! Above all: mean what you say, don't openly lie, and for Christ's sake, give a shit!
Sometimes, as hard as it is to believe or swallow, some people can't be saved. The legal system can't help them, their families can't, and all they want is to destroy themselves. So let them. They'll collapse, and they'll realize just what they've lost and what they can be will be A LOT better. That's when to step in and help. That's when they know they need you, but because of withdrawl, they ave trouble asking. Those moments are when you matter the most, and when you will matter most to them..and they will remember that. You will be praised for what you did. You just have to keep that in mind, and smile when it happens. That happiness will erase, even if only for a moment, all the evil that came before.
Probably not as big as one might project initially, because power corrupts, but we'd be a hell of a lot better off. But let's say that actually happened. All the control and the welfare of this country and it's people passed to the small percentage of truly smart people capable of governing..what would that look like?
Well, for starters, we'd be fucked. Our population would drop from 4…whatever million it currently is, to around…20 to 30 thousand. Not in one particular area, TOTAL! We'd need a COMPLETE, MASSIVE, RE-election of every damn office of government. Because, don't kid yourself here, not a single one of those pricks knows what the fuck they're doing…no matter how much you like them.
Except for, maybe: New York's Chuck Schumer, Minnesota's Amy Klobuchar, and Wisconsin's Russ Feingold. That's right, I said "New York's CHUCK SHUMER." NOT Hilary Clinton (I am SO ashamed of my state), Chuck Schumer.
I have ABSOLUTELY nothing against women running for president. As a matter of fact, I think one of them SHOULD be president….just not Hilary. I'd rather spend five hours in a rat hole, sucking a car exhaust pipe with Satan, than spend 2 seconds listening to anything she has to say.
Let me feed you some background on that. Back in my home town of Syracuse, NY, I worked for the Museum Of Science and Technology downtown (or what could be considered downtown) for a year or so. I was an usher (ticket taker, projectionist, theater attendant) for the IMAX Omintheater at the time Hilary and her entourage came through the area on a campaign oppression...sorry, campaign tour.
Her posse, which is actually the correct word, not "entourage," went into the theater to see an IMAX film. After personally telling each of us that she'd be in the theater herself to see the film and see what her contemporaries did on the job, she immediately turned her back and walked away.
Contemporaries (lie 1)?! The only people equal through her eyes are those with millions in their wallets, and Armani on their backs. Sure her posse didn't mean their sentiments either, but at least they had the cojones to listen to what people had to say.
Shortly after the film, and her blindingly obvious patronizing walk around the museum, she asked us to pose for a picture with her. Actually, she just yelled mildly loud, and when a few of us didn't hear her (cause you know, we were busy..DOING OUR JOBS!), she made one of her oompa loompas go around and remind us.
At the end of the photo...shoot, she asked if there were any questions. Yeah, why New York?! What the fuck did we ever do to you?! I didn't say that, I sure as hell thought it though. I forget what I asked, but her response if you can call it that, was to answer with another question having NOTHING to do with mine. She ACTUALLY passed the question off to a posse member, who answered it fairly well given the intelligence (and humanity) Hilary just sucked out of the building.
Through out the entire evening she was like glass. She never gave any indication, from what I know, that she gave half a shit about who we were as people, what our jobs entailed, and what we felt about politics. It's understandable, but not acceptable, if she was speaking to someone from...let's say, Maine...and didn't give a shit because Maine's not her state.
But when you completely brush off, and disrespect people from your own state...people who control whether or not you get elected...it's disgraceful. Every vote, every voice in this country matters! EVERY SINGLE ONE! Don't let any one bull shit you into believing otherwise! Everyone has an opinion, every one has a right to express it, and everyone has a right to tell someone who is misleading their state, and their country, to GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR HOUSE!
Those houses, governor..wise or presidential, are NOT the government's, their yours! Mine, yours, and every other citizen's those pricks are supposed to represent. We have every right to say: shut up, get out, and leave us the fuck alone!
I'm sorry, I don't give a shit who you are (unless you're my wife, or family) the world doesn't spin around you. My job is to assist museum guests, not some pompous jack ass who thinks she's the shit! Surprise Hilary, you're not! BILL IS! HE, and he alone, is responsible for your fame. If it wasn't for his name, you'd be no where.
Speaking of people who'd be no where: to paraphrase Bill Engvall and more graphicly George Carlin, my god there are a lot of stupid fuckers out there. I have an idea: why don't we take all those dumb asses that Bill Engvall's given signs to, and dump 'em in a valley some where.
A valley where only the small margin of smart people, know how to get to, and where the only things these idiots have to worry about is: which sand dune tastes more like water and why their niece/daughter's head is so misshapen.
The epitome of such astonishing and blinding stupidity, are these jackasses who walk around college towns, or areas of major cities where college age students live, and stick post its and flyers on car windshields. You're not doing anyone any favors. You're not passing out employment opportunities, you're commiting a felony. A person's car is their private property and their private space. Posting something on their car is like nailing porn to the window siding of their house. If you want to get away with it, than you should either be arrested or have something offensive and morally degrading stapled to your fore head. Then you can join the other mindless lemmings in the valley.
These are people who: 1. when walking out of the MINNEAPOLIS Convention Center, stop to ask me "which direction is Minneapolis," or 2. stand in front of me at a movie theater and take 5 fucking minutes staring up at showtimes, only to walk up the cashier and ask "is Harry Potter playing today?" And 3. my personal favorite: "do you work here," (at a place I DON'T work, and it's evident that I don't) I say no and they follow up with, "is there a bathroom?" Or, "Do you have....?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is NOT to be a smart ass when some one asks you those questions? It can literally cause a stroke trying to dodge sarcasm. Here's what I'd say: 1. "Minneapolis is....wait! Shit! Minneapolis! Fuck! I thought we were in Berumuda!" 2. "Nope, those are just suggestions for we thought we might want to show. We thought we'd fuck with you." 3. "Nope, they're just gonna fill you coffee, make you stand around and shit on the floor." and "Yes, we do, but I have no idea where it is."
We could invent some sort of restorative brain technique or machine to at least force these idiots to think, but then they'd probably try to find a way to use it to have kid number 40, or to cheat an alcohol detecting ankle bracelet.
Which brings me to my next subject, the Human Crack Farm...I mean, Lindsay Lohan. Why in the hell does anyone give a shit about her anymore? Don't bring her family into this, they're supposed to help. Which they don't appear to be giving a shit enough to do. They have taken action though, but only to bitch and assign blame for which parent is at fault.
In a recent MSN.com article, a reporter (who's name I forgot) stated that the only way to save Lindsay is to send her to jail. Wrong! It won't save her. She won't learn or get anything. Except a cell phone snuck to her (a la the ultimate fame/criminal whore Paris Hilton) and a shower moment only seen in porn.
The only way to save Lindsay, is not to. Leave her alone, and let her fall. Let the law take care of what ever it needs to, and believe me that will be A LOT, and let her crash. Drug use is premeditated. She knows what she's doing, she knows who she's hurting, she's apparently not minding destroying her family and her life, so why waste our time trying to help?
She won't take it, and she keeps following down ol' dad's path. Which is further ironic, given her comments years back that she won't be lack dad. She loves her family (apparently not anymore) and she won't see them in shambles. You want to know what everyone is trying to example of whom not to be like? You, Lindsay!
Some people will only learn through severe pain and tragedy, Lindsay is one of those people. And apparently it needs to happen to her. I'm not wishing her death, FAR from it, I'm only saying she needs to fall and fall HARD. She needs to loose something before she realizes what it mattered. And she's needs to realize that she's an ass. Maybe she can change that, but it looks unlikely.
A lot of comparisons have been made to Robert Downey Jr. While their stories are VERY similar, Downey was smart enought to save himself. He realized what he lost and what mattered. He was an ass, too...so he stopped and got his life back. Kodos and all my applause Robert.
He was pathetic, now he's back on track and apparently happy...Lindsay's APATHETIC, apparently hopeless, and going to stay that way.
In conclusion: instead of letting all the morons roam free, why not find them a valley somewhere, where they can: romp gleefully, mate with their siblings, and drink sand. Or maybe, just simply, we should take Bill Engvall's suggestion. Of course, only 20 - 30 thousand of us would be sign free. If you're running for any office: smile, be sincere, when someone asks you a question..ANSWER IT without passing the buck onto someone else! It's not their job! Above all: mean what you say, don't openly lie, and for Christ's sake, give a shit!
Sometimes, as hard as it is to believe or swallow, some people can't be saved. The legal system can't help them, their families can't, and all they want is to destroy themselves. So let them. They'll collapse, and they'll realize just what they've lost and what they can be will be A LOT better. That's when to step in and help. That's when they know they need you, but because of withdrawl, they ave trouble asking. Those moments are when you matter the most, and when you will matter most to them..and they will remember that. You will be praised for what you did. You just have to keep that in mind, and smile when it happens. That happiness will erase, even if only for a moment, all the evil that came before.
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